Nothing sells me on a film like the threat of Michael Moore's chubby fingers maneuvering their way into my sphincter, so I absolutely adore the new poster for Sicko, Moore's sure-to-be scathing documentary about America's wretched health care system, coming June 29th. The one-sheet is still obviously without the text, but it will supposedly carry the message "This might hurt a little." The clever double-meaning points out both that exposing the truth of health care will hurt and that it's going to really fucking hurt when Moore gets his hand up your ass, because he doesn't pull out until he's found food.
Tim Roth to Play Hulk Villain
This one's going to be directed by the guy who did The Transporter, this story gives me reason to be optimistic.
A) Like Edward Norton, Tim Roth usually seems to me a pretty competent actor.
B) "Blonsky is a KGB agent who deliberately exposes himself to the gamma rays that caused Bruce Banner to morph into the Hulk. Blonsky has upped the dosage, making him larger and stronger than the Hulk, but unable to change back to human form."
Two Live-Action Star Wars Headed to TV
George Lucas announced to Fox News that he has decided to continue making the Star Wars universe shittier, injecting more of his out-of-touch ideas of humor and romance into two hour-long made-for-TV Star Wars movies. The director added that the stories won't involve the Skywalker family, and he has not yet determined what network they will air on.
At this point, having completely given up on the chance of a respectable Star War, I'm hoping they do this on the Lifetime Channel. Dean Cain stars as The Perfect Jedi, a young Jedi powerful with the Force and great with the son of single mom Shmoora (Tracey Gold). But it seems her suitor has a dark side, and as his Sith powers (and alcoholism) take control, Shmoora must go to extreme lengths to save her son... and the galaxy.
Oh, and ol' Lucas also said Spider-Man 3 was "a silly movie." I don't think the irony of this needs to be explained.
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