May 23, 2009

Transformers 2: I'm boycotting this movie, anyone with me?

transformers-final-poster.jpgWe've reached a new level of the Floating Head poster. Not even celebrities anymore. Just some nearly-emotionless robot heads. You can really tell how serious Optimus Prime is about saving pyramids because how the metal around his eyes is shaped. So much emotion in those apostrophe-shaped slits.

They could have learned from Shrek 2: when you have a sequel starring a computer-generated character, you should simply show the number two swathed with the flesh of the character. That's a surefire hit-making technique.

transformers-2-pyramids.jpgYahoo has put up some new vacation slides from Transformers 2: Egyptian Break, so if you'd like to see two more transforming computoids posing in front of pyramids, here they are.


Shia LaBeouf just got to college, leaving behind his robot friend that turns into a Camaro and his ridiculously hot girlfriend-cum-motorcycle showroom model, and already things are going crazy. A shard of something that fell out of Shia's bag has given him A BEAUTIFUL MIND! And Megatron wants his brain to decode some pots in a pyramid or something! And there's a robot that devours sand like he doesn't even give a shit!

You'd better just see for yourself:

Ha! The casual American flag knock-down at 1:30. "Fuck this." Decepticons are so serious about symbolic gestures. If they have to climb every bridge in this country to swat down every one of our flags, they will do that, because they are the robot terrorists and they do not support our values.
transformers-character-list.jpgStart making your checklists early: Dreamworks/Paramount has released the official list of robo-characters in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. You'll probably notice that Megatron, who has been rumored to return since the moment after his defeat in the first film, is conspicuously absent from the Decepticon line-up, while on the Autobot side, a pants-pooping-themed pair has been added.

transformers-3.jpgJuly 1, 2011. That's when Variety says the third robo-man-car movie will be released.

michael-bay.jpgA while back Collider managed to get Michael Bay to speak at some length about Transformers 2. Between awkward, joking rants about owning the website and pretending to punch people a few times, he revealed:

- He's shooting the film in IMAX--just like Dark Knight, that Batman movie we all liked!

- The sequel will be darker--just like Dark Knight, that Batman movie we all liked!

- The Transformers will be more emotive this time around. The effects team probably got a new set of Intel microchips and did a virus scan to get more computer power into robot facial expressions. That's my understanding.

- The film is at 2 hours 20 minutes now, but Bay is still editing it down. So basically that means it will be under 2 hours 20 minutes, in case you thought it was going to be like Lawrence of Arabia with an intermission.

- "It's not trying to just be bigger to be bigger." That sentence he was lying about. He's definitely making it bigger to be bigger, and thank god. The only saving grace of another Transformers movie is that it will definitely be bigger. No one is excited about seeing a smaller, more introspective Transformers movie. But yes, it will be bigger.

- Bay will be waiting at least a year if he decided to start on a third chapter of the series. Let's hope my already-deteriorating paper-mâché Optimus Prime head will last until that opening night!

Full video interview here.

transformers-revenge-poster.jpgThis was the first teaser poster for Transformers 2, and it appears someone is out for revenge. It's that ribbed metal panel with the red eyes that looks like a boss from Contra--he/she is the one out for revenge.

Bay was too distracted by Megan Fox's tits to notice that his characters were reacting to the same offscreen action while looking in two different directions.


TFW2005 has received word that Devastator, the above combination of several construction vehicle robots that form a larger robot, will play a part in Transformers: Rise Revenge of the Fallen. Here are the details:

- Seven construction vehicles merge to form Devastator
- Devastator has lots of upper body strength, like a gorilla
- Not just green, some of the vehicles are red and yellow

Does he actually look like a gorilla now, or is he just really strong and whoever wrote this said, "You know what else is strong? A gorilla. This thing is like a gorilla." These are the things I wonder.

Also, why haven't we heard about the dinosaur ones being in this? The dinosaur ones are everyone's favorite, because they're dinosaurs.

Michael Bay is a douche!


Mike said...

I'll be boycotting it, although I've been boycotting Michael Bay films since I saw Armageddon. I see them sometimes, but I always make sure I never pay for them. I went to see Transformers with some friends who worked on it, but I bought a ticket for Ratatouille instead. Unfortunately, I still had to watch Transformers.

Blake said...

Sorry, I have to see this. Its something I have to do.

I'll hang my head in shame throughout though.

Gillian said...

this made me lol so hard