Zyzzyx Road

So apparently Tom Sizemore was in a movie called Zyzzyx Road, which was released in 2006. I say “apparently”, because it seems like there are very few people who can confirm this. Why, you ask? BECAUSE IT MADE $30 AT THE BOX OFFICE! With current movie prices being the way they are, that means that approximately 3 people paid to see this movie.
What kind of movie only makes $30 at the box office? Here’s IMDB’s plot summary:

Grant is an accountant with a bad marriage and a daughter whom he loves. He takes to the road to service his accounts in Las Vegas. While there he meets seductive Marissa. They have a week-long affair which culminates in the arrival of Marissa’s ex-boyfriend, Joey. Joey attempts to kill the lovers, but Grant gets the upper hand. Grant and Marissa then drive Joey’s body to Zyzzyx Road and Grant buries Joey in the desert there. But in the morning the body is missing and something is trying to kill Grant and Marissa. In the DEATH OF A SALESMAN meets LOLITA ending, Zyzzyx Rd. reveals a shocking, tragic twist.

I mean, that sounds like potential Oscar material, right?
Let’s break down the numbers a little bit.

• $30 total gross, but $20 of it on opening weekend. That’s a good, strong opening.
• Widest Release: 1 theater. Sucks to be that theater. (CHUD reports that the theater was Highland Village Park Theater in Dallas, Texas).
• In release: 6 days. Oh, so that’s why 2/3 of the gross came on the first weekend. There was no second weekend…
• The top grossing domestic release of all time was Titanic, which hauled in $600,788,188 in 1997 (not even adjusted for inflation). That means that Titanic brought in 20,026,272.93 times as much revenue as Zyzzyx Road. That’s right, over 20 MILLION times as much revenue. And that doesn’t count the 10 years of inflation.
• IMDB estimates its budget at $2,000,000. That means it only came $1,999,970 short of breaking even. Or to put it another way, at it’s rate of $5 per day in release, it would have needed to play for almost 1096 YEARS to break even.
• The website that sells Tom Sizemore’s sex tape (NSFW) charges $34.20 per month. That means if one person subscribes for one month the site makes more than this movie did.

Now, because you know I love you, here’s the actual trailer for this train wreck:



Sources:
BoxOfficeMojo
CHUD
IMDB
Fleshbot (NSFW)